oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
