I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
