Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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