i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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