HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize