one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize