took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
