the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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