babies were throwing up all over the place
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize