i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
