Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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