some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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