high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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