Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize