I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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