North Korea, Best Korea!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
