Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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