Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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