And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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