Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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