im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
