i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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