I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
