I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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