I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
