I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
