I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
