I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
