Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
