a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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