you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
