I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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