Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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