What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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