Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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