Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
