I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
