Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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