He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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