We're facebook friends in real life
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
