But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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