I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
