I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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