ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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