Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
