no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my liver is dry heaving
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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