I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
