I hate all girls vehemently.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
