I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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