I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
