I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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