i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
