Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
