i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
