In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
