it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Randomize