They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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